Author Topic: The good ones, post em here!  (Read 167960 times)

[SJ]Stein

  • "The Watchdog"
  • *
  • Posts: 9033
Re: The good ones, post em here!
« Reply #50 on: August 13, 2006, 07:45:40 am »
i had figured we'd strap TT to the side of the car?   might take a couple of tries.. but well worth it in the end.. ;D

[SJ]Stein

  • "The Watchdog"
  • *
  • Posts: 9033

[SJ]Jarkko Rantajoki

  • *
  • Posts: 12811
Re: The good ones, post em here!
« Reply #52 on: August 14, 2006, 12:07:28 am »
he Geography of a Woman
------------------------
Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered,
half wild and naturally beautiful with bushland around the fertile deltas.

Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered,
very well developed and open to trade especially with countries with cash or cars.

Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of its own beauty.

Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France or Argentina. She may have been half destroyed
during the war but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Yugoslavia or Iraq. She lost the war and is haunted
by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.

Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia or Canada. Very wide, quiet and the borders
are practically unpatrolled but the frigid climate keeps people away.

Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England or Mongolia. With a glorious and all
conquering past but alas no future (a bit like Tony Blair, maybe Blair's a women really).

After 70, they become Albania or Afghanistan. Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

The Geography of a Man
------------------------
Between the ages of 15 - 70 a man is like Zimbabwe - ruled by a dick.

Mr Bear and Mr Rabbit

Mr Bear and Mr Rabbit are walking throught the woods one day when they meet a golden frog. The frog says that he'll grant each of them 3 wishes.

Mr Bear grins, winks at the frog and says "I wish i'm the only male bear in this entire wood. Mr Rabbit says"I wish for a bike helmet."

Mr Bear thinks to himself, grins even wider then asks "I wish i'm the only male bear in the surrounding forests as well". Mr Rabbit says "I wish for a motorbike."

Mr Bear spends a minute thinking of his final wish then finally, with his johnny burstin' his zipper, he says "i wish that i'm the only male bear in the entire country". Mr Rabbit gets on his motorbike with his helmet strapped on and says to the frog "I wish Mr Bear was gay"

LOST IN THE DARNDEST PLACES:
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car
has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation
to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the
brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher said,
"Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer
radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."
_______________________________________
FAMILY
Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night
the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She
yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94
year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She
starts up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The
92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her
sisters.
She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful,
knock on wood." She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as
soon as I see who's at the door."
_______________________________________
"I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine
March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the
second man replied, "it's Thursday." And the third man chimed in, "So am I.
Let's have a beer."
_______________________________________
LITTLE LADY:
A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home.
As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say
"Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping
her gown at him, she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or
two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."
_______________________________________
DOWN AT THE RETIREMENT CENTER
80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She
holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess
what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!" An elderly gentleman
in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?"
Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."
_______________________________________
OLD FRIENDS
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.
Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week
to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the
other and said, "Now don't get mad at me ... I know we've been friends
for a long time ...but I just can't! think of your name! I've thought
and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name
is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just
stared and glared at her.
Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
_______________________________________
SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I
just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on
Interstate 77. Please be careful!" "Heck," said Herman, "It's not just
one car. It's hundreds of them!"
______________________________________
DRIVING
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely
see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an
intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing
it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few
more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red
again.
Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was
almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that
she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection,
sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned
to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran
through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, crap, am I driving?"
« Last Edit: August 14, 2006, 12:14:05 am by SJ_PleaseDontShootMe »

[SJ]Pierre61

  • Master of Ceremonies
  • *
  • Posts: 7109
Re: The good ones, post em here!
« Reply #53 on: August 18, 2006, 07:10:08 pm »
Musical interlude:

Ever felt guilty about that second guitar gathering dust?

I know we have some plank spankers here, but even non guitarists can appreciate this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQr01jAaZaY&mode=related&search=

P

[SJ]kramer5

  • *
  • Posts: 391
Re: The good ones, post em here!
« Reply #54 on: August 18, 2006, 07:41:16 pm »
« Last Edit: August 18, 2006, 07:44:39 pm by SJ_kramer5 »

[SJ]DRokK

  • Sultan De Alfatina
  • *
  • Posts: 3922
Re: The good ones, post em here!
« Reply #55 on: August 18, 2006, 08:56:10 pm »
very nice and technical boys, hows about some raw energy >:D >:D >:D >:D >:D >:D
sid was never the best player in the world but he sure made up for it with his style/attitude... long live the pistols >:D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qj4nYKVK044&NR
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8z2M_hpoPwk&mode=related&search=
« Last Edit: August 18, 2006, 09:01:39 pm by SJ_DRokK »

[SJ]Pierre61

  • Master of Ceremonies
  • *
  • Posts: 7109
Re: The good ones, post em here!
« Reply #56 on: August 18, 2006, 10:53:51 pm »
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pe4rujROrxk&mode=related&search=

Victor Wooten of Bela Fleck and the Flecktones
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CR6t47pV8Qc


Big respect to Stu .. loved his stuff for years .. but when I heard Michael Manring .. a page turned... if your into bass then MM will be no news to you, but if you aren't.... guys.... Google him.. Watson and Crick is another level

P

[SJ]Pierre61

  • Master of Ceremonies
  • *
  • Posts: 7109
Re: The good ones, post em here!
« Reply #57 on: August 18, 2006, 11:07:15 pm »
very nice and technical boys, hows about some raw energy >:D >:D >:D >:D >:D >:D
sid was never the best player in the world but he sure made up for it with his style/attitude... long live the pistols >:D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qj4nYKVK044&NR
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8z2M_hpoPwk&mode=related&search=


You know.. we all have bad days... sometimes we wake up and think .. 'you know.. I could have handled that better' .... multiply that by 1000 times .. then put yerself in Bill Grundy's pants lol

P

Marcus

  • *
  • Posts: 8167
Re: The good ones, post em here!
« Reply #58 on: August 19, 2006, 12:25:57 am »
21387

In the middle of my first cup of morning coffee and the middle difficulty level :D


I believe it, you always score higher than me in RO... bastard   :P

-Marcus

[SJ]Jarkko Rantajoki

  • *
  • Posts: 12811
Re: The good ones, post em here!
« Reply #59 on: August 19, 2006, 12:40:53 am »
21387

In the middle of my first cup of morning coffee and the middle difficulty level :D





Its just experience of such games...I should do better now, Ive been playing with a shitty cheap
laggy crap shite bollox wireless mouse for a while cos my gaming mouse died on me but got it fixed
today, had to change the red led in the bottom, find a new place to take power for the led, remove a piece of the
wire etc. but now it works great again, dont glow blue anymore though cos i needed to use the power that comes
for the blue led lol ;D
A decent mouse makes all the difference!

[SJ]Jarkko Rantajoki

  • *
  • Posts: 12811
Re: The good ones, post em here!
« Reply #60 on: August 19, 2006, 11:52:04 am »
We gotta lure Simbin folks to this site..
(if you have epilepsy do not check this out)
http://devs.doyouhaveepilepsy.com/

RO community is full of good stuff, this was posted in the forum
where the developers of RO hang out a lot ;D

[SJ]2shedz

  • Catering Consultant
  • *
  • Posts: 2620
Re: The good ones, post em here!
« Reply #61 on: August 19, 2006, 11:59:22 am »
YOU are a BAD, BAD , BAD man PDSM. Thats like putting a BIG Do Not Push
« Last Edit: August 19, 2006, 12:01:43 pm by SJ_2shedz »

[SJ]Stein

  • "The Watchdog"
  • *
  • Posts: 9033
Re: The good ones, post em here!
« Reply #62 on: August 19, 2006, 12:01:23 pm »
ah well.. watched it for over two minutes... got tranced... felt good actually.

ehr.. felt bad naturally  (before we get any copycats laying drewling on the floor) ;D

WOof ~ Woof

[SJ]Jarkko Rantajoki

  • *
  • Posts: 12811
Re: The good ones, post em here!
« Reply #63 on: August 19, 2006, 12:18:04 pm »
But it was a good one ;D
And if my proper warning aint taken seriously its not my fault in that case  >:D

[SJ]Stein

  • "The Watchdog"
  • *
  • Posts: 9033

Marcus

  • *
  • Posts: 8167
Re: The good ones, post em here!
« Reply #65 on: August 20, 2006, 07:26:31 pm »
A very cool Nascar truck series crash!  Nobody dies...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=gVjzbcvGsK0

-Marcus

[SJ]Jarkko Rantajoki

  • *
  • Posts: 12811
Re: The good ones, post em here!
« Reply #66 on: August 20, 2006, 07:36:49 pm »
http://youtube.com/watch?v=gVjzbcvGsK0

-Marcus



thats some crazy sport.. lots of HP and no weight is a bad combination in a car lol :D

[SJ]Stein

  • "The Watchdog"
  • *
  • Posts: 9033
Re: The good ones, post em here!
« Reply #67 on: August 24, 2006, 04:34:48 pm »
A 17-year-old boy surnamed Liang almost died when he tried to use a kung fu movement to stop a running train in Laibin Railway Station in South China's Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region on Tuesday, Nanguo Jinbao reported.

Liang was pushed to safety by a railway policeman just as he was about to be knocked down. Liang jumped down to the tracks and wanted to use Xianglongshibazhang, a famous kung fu posturing described in many swordsman fictions, to stop the running train.

He was taken into custody for breaking railway rules and said he wanted to test whether or not he could use kung fu to stop the train. Liang is a great fan of swordsman fiction and has also learnt martial arts.

Breaking news huh?.... Kungfu doesNOT stop trains.. lol brakes do!

Woof  ~ woof

[SJ]Stein

  • "The Watchdog"
  • *
  • Posts: 9033
Re: The good ones, post em here!
« Reply #68 on: August 24, 2006, 05:30:01 pm »
http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/49723/The_Daily_Show_Desperate_Soundbites.html


i want the album!

Nice compilation of bush sounds... ya better watch it all the way thru..   ;D

Woof ~ Woof

[SJ]Stein

  • "The Watchdog"
  • *
  • Posts: 9033
Re: The good ones, post em here!
« Reply #69 on: August 26, 2006, 08:32:34 am »
http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/48991/Stupid_Pain.html

ADULT CONTENT! not for the fainthearted!

Be prepared for some nice faceplants and all other kinda stupid stuff ppl do..  the one that "served him right" is the guy that hangs outtof the car teasing kids on bikes.. then loses grip, falls outtof the car and faceplants on the bumper of a parked car... gory enough?

Hmm.. truckersday for the ppl of the physically challenged today.. i hear trucks honkin theyre horns already. A parade where them peeps get to sit in the cabin of trucks riding thru apeldoorn, charity concept, very cool.. i volunteered once, but i wasn't an employee.. i worked thru a job agency.. i'm guessing there's gonna be 200+ trucks rolling!

Woof ~ Woof

Here's one with a languagewarning autosales commercial.. funny as hell!  http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/49090/Big_Bill_Hell_s_Fixed.html
« Last Edit: August 26, 2006, 08:38:43 am by SJ_Stein »

[SJ]Pierre61

  • Master of Ceremonies
  • *
  • Posts: 7109
Re: The good ones, post em here!
« Reply #70 on: August 28, 2006, 04:18:35 am »
Dear Santa, please can I be 14 again.. and when i am, please can I be this guy?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?search=&mode=related&v=WBN0OSLIm8g

P

Marcus

  • *
  • Posts: 8167
Re: The good ones, post em here!
« Reply #71 on: August 30, 2006, 04:47:46 am »
My job has kept me very busy this week.  Little time to post or play a game.  :-\  Over twelve hours each day...

But I found this today and thought that it would bring back some nightmares memories for some of you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7daZ6eCo0o&search=michael%20jackson%20black%20or%20white

[SJ]Jarkko Rantajoki

  • *
  • Posts: 12811
Re: The good ones, post em here!
« Reply #72 on: August 30, 2006, 05:15:20 am »
Only thing i like in that is the start and Twisted Sister did that in the 80s already ;D
Theres something in Michael Jackson that i hate cant help it (not that i should lol) >:D

Marcus

  • *
  • Posts: 8167
Re: The good ones, post em here!
« Reply #73 on: August 30, 2006, 11:57:40 pm »
Glad to know I'm not the only one to do this.  I don't blame the guy one bit.  I hope the law goes easy on him.  WARNING:  A SAD STORY THAT MIGHT BE DISTURBING TO SOME.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/08/30/neighbor.stabbing.ap/index.html

[SJ]Jarkko Rantajoki

  • *
  • Posts: 12811
Re: The good ones, post em here!
« Reply #74 on: August 31, 2006, 03:19:28 pm »
Marcus stuff like that truly shows there is something wrong in the world  >:(


Heres is one that made me laugh, at least the first couple moments is funny:
http://www.c-monandkypski.nl/video/shittybum.html